


Heffley Jreg Gets Cucked Thrice: A Jrama

by FictionWriting69420



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24813379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FictionWriting69420/pseuds/FictionWriting69420
Summary: Heffley Jreg gets cucked.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Heffley Jreg Gets Cucked Thrice: A Jrama

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is for background information.

"I am dead!" wailed the cadaver. It seems surreal, a corpse talking, but then again, this story hardly took place in reality. It took place in a dimension of irony, Heffleys, and imagination. It took place in the land of the mind and all it can make. The place was Jritter, the time was night, and the corpse once known as Uw0 Heffley was pronouncing her demise. 

After Father Time had yielded his hours, Heffley Jreg found himself facing the Jrama Alert desk. He had his hands cuffed behind his back, and Heffley hated those restraints. He yearned to crack and break the metal, and to set loose his angry fists upon the journalist and the officer. Despite the time that had passed, those fists were still tainted with blood. The cause for Heffley's arrest was his sin, his crime, of having taken out a knife and stabbed Uw0 in the guts with it. 

"Why'd you do it?" asked Jrama Alert. 

Damn reporters, they are the fuck-scum of the plant. That was the thought on Heffley's mind as the interviewer smoked and adjusted his ushanka. 

"I'll tell you once and only once, so you better listen. We live in a society, dude. Heffley Culture's real sick these days. It's gone too far. All Heffleys made after April 2020 don't know how to Heffley. All they know is not be active, post jrirth, and die," Heffley told the man. 

"Okay hoomer!" yelled Uw0's corpse. She was lying shrouded on the couch. 

Jrama Alert jotted down some notes, then turned his cigar towards Officer Heffley. 

"Take him away sire, I've heard all I need," 

The next morning, Jrama Alert published the news detailing the gruesome murder. Heffley had gashed Uw0 in the guts until she bled to her death, and then he became a hoomer. Later on that day, Uw0 decided to stop being dead. Because of this, the officer spared the criminal from having to face prison and the electric chair. 

In the evening, two folks conversed on the topic of the Heffnostate. 

"Something about what Heffley said earlier's been gnawing on me," said the child to the child. 

"What'd he say?" the other asked. 

"That Heffley Culture's old, already reached its peak, gone downhill," answered the kid. 

"Well, Heffley Culture did peak already. It peaked with # Heil x Jregay. Everything after that point in Heffley History was meh," 

"That can't be true!" the child said, not wanting to admit it. 

"We just need something new," the kid continued. 

Suddenly, the child felt thunder strike the brain. It seemed to hold the potential to both bring down and build up. Either way, it was a ray of pure gilded glory. The child ran towards the window, ripped down the border, and yelled out to the crowd below, 

"# Heffley x Uw0!" and soon enough, the world had a brand new preoccupation. 

After a while, the news found its way to Uw0. Uw0 was not particularly excited or happy about the idea, but she knew what she had to do for the Heffnostate. She walked up to Heffley's house, knocked upon the door, and asked, 

"Heffley Jreg, do you consent to # Heffley x Uw0?" 

Jreg Heffley, Heffley's brother appeared angry and annoyed as he stood next to his brother. 

"On behalf of the hivemind, no," said Jreg. 

"Brother, why must you fight it?" asked Heffley. 

"I don't want my fellow original to fall to such lows. I don't want to be the only sane person here," said Jreg. Ignoring his pleas, and going by his once repressed wants, Heffley turned to the girl he once killed and said, 

"Odd way of wording it, but yeah, I don't see why not," and thus the jredding was planned.


End file.
